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I knew it was unfair: many people’s marriages end against their will, and through no fault of their own.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that they’d already proved they had no staying power.

Ideally, this is a lifelong union between two people.

The traditional marriage ceremony includes an admonition that what God has joined must not be put asunder by any person.

Another strategy for raising self-esteem that is available to anyone going through marriage separation is to find something that is enjoyable and can help the individual pamper him or herself.

A trip to a salon for a new hairstyle can provide a boost to a person who is going through a major life change.

Many churches provide support to separated and divorced members of the congregation through support groups.

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Trying to do it a second time around, after your first marriage has fizzled out, can seem pretty much hopeless.

Trying to find a perfect life partner with good Christian values, which include virginity until marriage and the unwillingness to divorce by many standards, can seem like an exercise in hypocrisy.

You shouldn't think of it this way though; you are not the only Christian divorce out there and you are not off limits to good Christian partners just because you've been through a marriage that didn't work out.

‘Don’t worry, Hopeful Girl, you’ll meet someone soon – the divorcés are coming back onto the market every day! There’s something to look forward to.’ Divorce is a touchy subject for Christians.

‘Divorce, broken families and shattered dreams – and me picking through the carnage.

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In fact, the tough love coaching I give my clients is aimed at protecting women from falling victim to such games. I’m sure female readers could cite hundreds of examples.

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