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It’s a very Hillary Clinton-type thought, discipline and gratitude sharing the same sentence. Among the nation’s more than 34 million unpaid caregivers, many are aging, and ill spouses are caring for equally aged and sicker mates.

But it was also my mantra, one I’d recommend to every caregiver. Being a caregiver to someone you love can be transcendent, a gift. There often is a lack of infrastructure to make sure that essentials such as transportation to doctor’s visits and medical tests are provided.

Over the course of seven months, Bill went from beating me silly on the tennis court to needing my help to go to the bathroom and bathe. I had lived 42 years before I heard the phrases “we have a problem … During those seven months, I came to understand that whatever else I did in my life, nothing would matter more than would end. I discovered that the petty day-in, day-out grievances of an irksome co-worker, a child with the sniffles or a flat tire pale in comparison to the beauty of spontaneous laughter, the night sky, the smells of a bakery.

For many couples, this part of the dream has not quite come true.

Often there is a sense of resentment and anger that they did not hold up their end of the bargain.

How do you prevent this from impacting the care you provide?

It's better that your spouse discuss his fears and emotions as they arise, rather than ignore them, according to the Help article, "When a Loved One is Terminally Ill." Listen without interrupting or giving advice, unless he requests it. Keep in mind that's she's likely starting the grieving process before her family member even passes.

However, if he doesn't feel like talking, don't try to force him to talk. She may feel guilt, regret, anger, hurt, fear and more.

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It would mean they use all their resources to help her be all that she’s meant to be under God. I encourage her to be around other women who inspire her. I’ll talk to young men sometime that say, “I’m dating a girl. I’ve already fused our quiet times together.” I’m like, “I don’t know what that means, man. If you hit the gas on expediting the physical part, you’ve missed what dating is for. Would I want to hang out with her for the next 30 years? Then, as you get to know her emotionally, you start to connect and go, “I think this is the one.” Then you can enter that covenant of marriage, and you’re off to the races.

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It also has an algorithm that weeds out "Asianphiles" and accounts for Chinese cultural values such as date of immigration and highest level of education.