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To my pleasant surprise, my 30-something confidence combined with the dawn of casual online dating culture made for one damn fun year and a half.

Turned out, dating as a divorced 35-year-old was a great way to pass the time until I felt ready for a relationship again.

Fortunately, I had the help of a wonderful professional counselor who helped me move forward.Divorce was not something I had in my plans when I said my wedding vows at the altar as much as I would’ve never imagined myself dating in midlife.Yet there I was, doing both – 45 and single again (happily it has to be said) and wondering where to start over with a new life.Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.

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