Large dudes will frequently lament that their size automatically disqualifies them from dating – they believe that there is simply no way a woman could possibly like somebody who’s body isn’t rippled and shiny like a buttered ear of corn. Kevin Smith, for all of his fashion sins that I will get into in a second, is happily married with a lovely wife and daughter. It’s easy to forget this when the TV and magazines are showing you nothing but image after image of cut, veiny men with swimmers builds with women draped all over them like fur stoles, but women actually like a far wider range of body types than we’d think.

Ask five women what their ideal male build is and you’ll get six different answers.

Societal standards of beauty are not only arbitrary but often literally impossible to achieve without Photoshop and make-up and there are assholes out there who feel empowered to mock fat people with impunity.

But being large and in charge doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to a life of being forever alone; in fact, you may find that you have far more options for finding love, sex and happiness than you’d ever believe possible. There are plenty of notable examples out there if you look around. Seth Rogan is no Abercrombie and Fitch model but he’s also happily married.

[Read: How to make a girl like you without asking her out] Do girls like shy guys? But almost always, girls fall for a shy guy when they’re still in school or college, and definitely not in a workplace.

When I look in the mirror, for the most part, I like what I see.

I like my curves, I like ass, I like my legs, I like my boobs (which I only have in abundance, when I’m tipping the scales), and I like my face.

If you want to date a girl, you need to let her know that! And if you’re just looking for a fling thing, you’d definitely like it too!

[Read: How to get a sex buddy] # Girls definitely like a guy who’s shy at first but opens up after a few conversations.